Valentine's Day is next week.
Do you buy your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, signficiant other something expensive? Flowers?
My husband usually doesn't get me flowers and I'm fine with that. We usually do a card and some chocolates. If he does get me flowers, it is from the grocery store (not delivered).
We do not buy each other expensive jewelry, etc.
How much do you spend on this holiday? it is nice to get your significant other something once in awhile, but does it have to be on 2/14?
Go to lunch or dinner another day when the restaurants don't charge an upcharge. Buy her flowers when they are also not jacked up prices - maybe on February 1st. My parents have an anniversary in February around Valentine's Day and I just sent thm flowers on 2/1 to avoid expensive flowers/upcharges.
Right now, Ebates has 20% cash back on Teleflora or FTD. I don't know if it will be going on - on 2/14, but why do you need to celebrate on a day that companies take advantage and charge people more money for dinner or flowers.
http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=43NFNJ3KT02nsPut0%2FwDtg%3D%3D
My husband and I will never go to dinner on valentine's night. We may go during the day while the kids are in school.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
How much do you spend on lunch?
Several coworkers have said that they cannot do $7.50 a day. How much do you spend on lunch? If you work at home taking care of kids or work from home or work at work - how much do you spend a day? Do you know? If not look at your monthly expenses. Most credit cards companies do tell you how you are spending, but I think that is done every year unless you run your own reports. I pay for a lot via credit card, so don't know how much I spend on lunch daily.
I'll be paying cash each day during February while at work.
As part of my budget challenge starting in a few days, I'll be limiting myself to $7.50 a day (for all meals during the day at work - snack, tea, coffee, lunch,etc).
Many have told me that $7.50 is just too little. I selected that amount because I decided to cut my monthly expense by a certain amount. Some of my coworkers are doing $10 a day.
I can get tea at work by brining my own and getting hot water for 11 cents. I think they even hot water from a free dispenser. I bring coffee in the morning from home most days, so I'm fairly good at that. If I feel like being social at work in the afternoon, I do usually get tea, but try to avoid starbucks coffee that is a minimum of 1.94. 11 cents is much better.
Lunch is hard. At my work cafeteria most meals will put you over 7.50 just by themselves. I try to do a half sandwich with chips or even a sandwich is under this amount usually with a drink (tea).
Going out to eat while at work is extremely hard. I used to get iced tea all the time because I live in Texas and even winter is hot. I'm trying to get more waters at restaurants. I ate at Chipoltle one day - before my budget crunch started - and it was 6.75 plus tax I think for a entree. With no water, that is close to my budget crunch.
A lot of people won't sacrifice their lunch and feel that eating something than at a sit down restaurant will add more calories for them. That's ok, I get that. I'm trying to lose weight with my challenge too. Let's say you go somewhere that has an entree for 11.50 and you get a water. You don't have to eat the whole thing and maybe you can split your meal for tomorrow's lunch (or for dinner). In that way, you have met the 7.50 budget per day. You are also saving calories that add up over time if you only eat half your food. Sometimes I have the restaurant give me a to go container before I even start eating, so I can stick to my half amount.
Also try to save on tips by going to counter service restaurants like chipotle, jason's deli, etc.
How much do you think is appropriate for lunch?
Even if you bring your lunch every day, you are spending money buying groceries to make your meal.
I'll be paying cash each day during February while at work.
As part of my budget challenge starting in a few days, I'll be limiting myself to $7.50 a day (for all meals during the day at work - snack, tea, coffee, lunch,etc).
Many have told me that $7.50 is just too little. I selected that amount because I decided to cut my monthly expense by a certain amount. Some of my coworkers are doing $10 a day.
I can get tea at work by brining my own and getting hot water for 11 cents. I think they even hot water from a free dispenser. I bring coffee in the morning from home most days, so I'm fairly good at that. If I feel like being social at work in the afternoon, I do usually get tea, but try to avoid starbucks coffee that is a minimum of 1.94. 11 cents is much better.
Lunch is hard. At my work cafeteria most meals will put you over 7.50 just by themselves. I try to do a half sandwich with chips or even a sandwich is under this amount usually with a drink (tea).
Going out to eat while at work is extremely hard. I used to get iced tea all the time because I live in Texas and even winter is hot. I'm trying to get more waters at restaurants. I ate at Chipoltle one day - before my budget crunch started - and it was 6.75 plus tax I think for a entree. With no water, that is close to my budget crunch.
A lot of people won't sacrifice their lunch and feel that eating something than at a sit down restaurant will add more calories for them. That's ok, I get that. I'm trying to lose weight with my challenge too. Let's say you go somewhere that has an entree for 11.50 and you get a water. You don't have to eat the whole thing and maybe you can split your meal for tomorrow's lunch (or for dinner). In that way, you have met the 7.50 budget per day. You are also saving calories that add up over time if you only eat half your food. Sometimes I have the restaurant give me a to go container before I even start eating, so I can stick to my half amount.
Also try to save on tips by going to counter service restaurants like chipotle, jason's deli, etc.
How much do you think is appropriate for lunch?
Even if you bring your lunch every day, you are spending money buying groceries to make your meal.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Thinking about Retirement
You may not be in your 50s, but you should start thinking about retirement. There is some good advice in here on how to save. Contribute to your company's 401K or start your own if you don't work. Pay off something. Put $50 away each month.
http://money.msn.com/baby-boomers/c_galleryregular.aspx?cp-documentid=250412236
I definitely didn't start when I was 25 like you should. I did save some, but needed to pay for college, etc. I was also barely able to afford my living and work and go to school.
Save now and enjoy later. I would much rather take vacations when I am retired than take a vacation every month now and spend way too much money. This is one thing that my husband and I are good at. We do vacation, but we don't go as much as some of my friends and we try to do stuff that is cheaper (stay with friends or family to save money, etc).
One of the top items on here is talking about budget. I think I'll take my februrary crunch and budget check beyond the month (of course we haven't started yet). I do think the article makes a point that if you wait to check what you spent at the end of the year - you have spent too much. Do it month by month and be on a budget.
Of course there are times when you need to spend - you need a new car, etc. You should do that, but just keep an eye on what you are spending on. Little things add up over time. If you are like most moms or dads I know, you go to target or other stores and you make many impulse buys. You are not sticking to a list and you buy stuff that is just there or just on sale. I do this a lot and sometimes buy things on sale and only just because they are on sale. It really adds up especially if the sale is 30% of less and you really didn't need the item to begin with.
http://money.msn.com/baby-boomers/c_galleryregular.aspx?cp-documentid=250412236
I definitely didn't start when I was 25 like you should. I did save some, but needed to pay for college, etc. I was also barely able to afford my living and work and go to school.
Save now and enjoy later. I would much rather take vacations when I am retired than take a vacation every month now and spend way too much money. This is one thing that my husband and I are good at. We do vacation, but we don't go as much as some of my friends and we try to do stuff that is cheaper (stay with friends or family to save money, etc).
One of the top items on here is talking about budget. I think I'll take my februrary crunch and budget check beyond the month (of course we haven't started yet). I do think the article makes a point that if you wait to check what you spent at the end of the year - you have spent too much. Do it month by month and be on a budget.
Of course there are times when you need to spend - you need a new car, etc. You should do that, but just keep an eye on what you are spending on. Little things add up over time. If you are like most moms or dads I know, you go to target or other stores and you make many impulse buys. You are not sticking to a list and you buy stuff that is just there or just on sale. I do this a lot and sometimes buy things on sale and only just because they are on sale. It really adds up especially if the sale is 30% of less and you really didn't need the item to begin with.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Budget Crunch
Budget crunch for the month of February. February 1st start.
Soft rules:
1) Set your own budget cuts and rules (your plan). You can communicate it or not.
2) It is ok to mess up.
3) If someone gives you money, you can add that to your budget. EX: Your mom gives your $20 for your anniversary or birthday - spend it!
4) If you happen to sell something (and get income besides work income), you can add that to your budget. EX: If someone buys something from you on etsy or something that you have (old golf clubs, etc), you can add that to your spending cash.
5) If your car breaks down, fix it no matter what.
6) If you have a health issue, fix it. (go to doctor).
7) Please do not put specifics, if you don’t feel comfortable.
8) Try to categorize where you spend and where you need to focus. I took an extract from my accounts for one month and then categorized my spending. Do this before 2/1.
9) If you want to buy something online, save it in a cart for later (and think about it). For amazon, you can add to your wish list. (it may even go down).
10) You can buy stuff, but try buying stuff in March – especially something you don’t need now (golf clubs, crafts, etc).
11) Gifts like for valentines or birthdays – buy them if you wish.
12) You can go out to lunch – just do what you feel is right for your budget cuts.
13) You can drop out at any time.
14) Starts on February 1st – mainly for 20 work days (plus how much you can do on your own).
15) Gas and groceries are fine – unless you spend way too much on groceries and that is where you want to cut.
16) Try not to cheat – no your friends can’t pay for your lunch every day.
17) If you feel like you might cheat, ask the group for motivation. (maybe you need a website for cheaper homemade meals and someone has that info).
18) If you have a child's birthday or you are having a party, do another month.
19) Keep track of what you are spending.
My plan:
I’m going to:
Put myself on a daily lunch budget and use cash. I am going to try to spend less than $7.50 a day (including coffee/morning snack/lunch, anything at work, etc). If I spend nothing one day, I can spend more on another day as long as my 20 day budget is met. Others may do $10/day.
Try not to buy stuff on amazon or target or really anything besides groceries. This is my focus area.
I can go out to lunch but cannot over my daily budget. (or not eat much the next day).
Afternoon coffee will be tea mostly for me as hot water is 11 cents as opposed to several dollars for a coffee. I bring my own tea.
Grocery budget stays the same or may go up slightly due to eating at my desk more.
Make a valentine card and no gift for husband.
Any travel plans – will be made after February.
I am still able to eat out on the weekends with family as this is not my focus area and I don’t mind spending here. My focus is work eating and frivolous spending online.
What is your plan?
This is extreme, but use it for guideline:
http://smallnotebook.org/2010/07/01/the-no-spend-month/
Soft rules:
1) Set your own budget cuts and rules (your plan). You can communicate it or not.
2) It is ok to mess up.
3) If someone gives you money, you can add that to your budget. EX: Your mom gives your $20 for your anniversary or birthday - spend it!
4) If you happen to sell something (and get income besides work income), you can add that to your budget. EX: If someone buys something from you on etsy or something that you have (old golf clubs, etc), you can add that to your spending cash.
5) If your car breaks down, fix it no matter what.
6) If you have a health issue, fix it. (go to doctor).
7) Please do not put specifics, if you don’t feel comfortable.
8) Try to categorize where you spend and where you need to focus. I took an extract from my accounts for one month and then categorized my spending. Do this before 2/1.
9) If you want to buy something online, save it in a cart for later (and think about it). For amazon, you can add to your wish list. (it may even go down).
10) You can buy stuff, but try buying stuff in March – especially something you don’t need now (golf clubs, crafts, etc).
11) Gifts like for valentines or birthdays – buy them if you wish.
12) You can go out to lunch – just do what you feel is right for your budget cuts.
13) You can drop out at any time.
14) Starts on February 1st – mainly for 20 work days (plus how much you can do on your own).
15) Gas and groceries are fine – unless you spend way too much on groceries and that is where you want to cut.
16) Try not to cheat – no your friends can’t pay for your lunch every day.
17) If you feel like you might cheat, ask the group for motivation. (maybe you need a website for cheaper homemade meals and someone has that info).
18) If you have a child's birthday or you are having a party, do another month.
19) Keep track of what you are spending.
My plan:
I’m going to:
Put myself on a daily lunch budget and use cash. I am going to try to spend less than $7.50 a day (including coffee/morning snack/lunch, anything at work, etc). If I spend nothing one day, I can spend more on another day as long as my 20 day budget is met. Others may do $10/day.
Try not to buy stuff on amazon or target or really anything besides groceries. This is my focus area.
I can go out to lunch but cannot over my daily budget. (or not eat much the next day).
Afternoon coffee will be tea mostly for me as hot water is 11 cents as opposed to several dollars for a coffee. I bring my own tea.
Grocery budget stays the same or may go up slightly due to eating at my desk more.
Make a valentine card and no gift for husband.
Any travel plans – will be made after February.
I am still able to eat out on the weekends with family as this is not my focus area and I don’t mind spending here. My focus is work eating and frivolous spending online.
What is your plan?
This is extreme, but use it for guideline:
http://smallnotebook.org/2010/07/01/the-no-spend-month/
Sunday, December 5, 2010
New mom check list
My friend created this for her friend. Is it nice for her to do for a friend?
I hope she doesn't mind that I am pasting it here as I think she has a lot of good advice. (and not just because she references my blog about breastfeeding expectations. ;)
------------------------------
I compiled this list for my 27 weeks pregnant next door neighbor - thanks to all who helped me the other day. It strikes me that some folks here might also find it helpful.
Here ya go - it's long - and the crunchy mama musings within are my opinion only, of course feel free to ignore. Some of the info is Pittsburgh based too.
Here is a list of some of my favorite things (or others’ favorite things that they’ve told me about.)
Swaddle Blankets – you need ‘em. And not those small flannel receiving blankets (although those are great to use as burp rags or light blankets to cover baby.) Aden and Anais make GREAT swaddling blankets, Kiddopatomus does too (and theirs are available at BRU – theirs are called “Swaddle Me”.)
www.adenandanais.com
Here are some other really nice ones with good info about swaddling too:
http://www.swaddledesigns.com/cgi/commerce.cgi?search=action&keywords=all&template=PDGCommTemplates/HTN/CategorySwaddling.html
Halo Sleep Sacks – once you are done swaddling – these are AWESOME. We just stopped using them about 3 months ago.
www.halosleep.com
Best DVD to watch (TWICE!!) BEFORE you have the baby:
Happiest Baby on the Block – you want the DVD not the book – and you and Matt need to watch it together.
www.happiestbaby.com
Best places to get help with breastfeeding:
www.kellymom.com – awesome website that answers every question you could think of and I think there’s a chat board too where you can ask questions..
Breastfeeding Center of Pittsburgh – you can get an appointment there right after you have baby – it’s covered by insurance – and they will help you and baby get on/stay on the right track..
www.breastfeedingcenterofpittsburgh.com
Allegheny County Breastfeeding Helpline
412-247-1000 – answers weekends and holidays too! 8am – 10pm every day – provides counseling over the phone.
Local La Leche League – great to attend a meeting while still pregnant and reach out for help ASAP if you are having trouble once baby is born:
http://www.llli.org/
Also – THIS is an excellent, VERY realistic description of breastfeeding a newborn. It is 100 percent accurate – from how often you feed, to how long it takes some newborns to feed (anyone who tells you “15 minutes only” or any other BS like that is WRONG.)
http://grapemama.blogspot.com/2010/10/breastfeeding-realistic-expectations.html
A final thought – if breastfeeding does NOT work out – do not beat yourself up. Jack got mostly breastmilk but because he could not latch and I had to exclusively pump, I was not able to make enough milk. So he got some formula every day. I liked Earth's Best organic formula. Before we switched to Earth’s Best I gave him Similac ready to feed – the ready to feed is sometimes easier on newborn’s tummies than the powder mixes at first. When we switched to powder, I always used FILTERED tap water and we did warm up bottles with a bottle warmer – the First Years bottle warmer. Also – water goes in the bottle first, then you add the powder. This is so you have the correct ratio of water to powder. Use dairy based formula unless baby is allergic and you have to go to soy based or something else.
Other things we loved:
Swing (couldn’t have lived without it – it was the only place Jack would sleep sometimes)
Bouncy Seat – a place to put baby down sometimes – and they usually like them a lot.
Arm’s Reach co-sleeper – Jack slept in one in our room for 6 months – first in a mini that my sister gave me, then the regular size one. LOVE this product. He also slept in our bed quite a bit – it is safe to cosleep/bedshare IF you take the proper precautions. Here are some links that describes those precautions:
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/safe-cosleeping.html
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html#linkssafety
Sometimes, it’s the only way to get ANY sleep. We also always ran a fan in our room to keep air circulating (this is smart to do wherever baby sleeps) – you also don’t want baby’s sleeping area to be too warm – don’t overdress your baby at night, regardless of where baby sleeps. A cool sleeping area is best.
Here is a link for arm’s reach cosleeper too: www.armsreach.com
Moby Wrap – AWESOME PRODUCT! Allows you to “hold” baby while still having both of your arms and hands free. Here’s a link with description and instructions on how to use it.
http://www.mobywrap.com
Ergo – another one of my favorite babywearing products! You’ve seen me carry Jack in this one:
http://www.ergobabycarrier.com
Can’t stress enough how great these babywearing products are – it is really good for baby to be close to you (and anyone who tells you that you’re holding baby too much or baby will get “spoiled” is spouting really outdated notions, don’t listen, it actually is good for their physical and mental development to be held – a lot – these products make that possible while still being able to do other things too.)
More great stuff:
Lansinoh breast creme - you will need this if you are breastfeeding!!
Best pumps – Medela or Ameda – you want a good, expensive pump. Lots of info about pumping to be found on Kelly Mom website too.
You’ll need some disposable breast pads too (you will leak, it’s CRAZY at first) – I did NOT like the lansinoh brand breast pads – I liked Avent.
Breast soothies are also good – cooling gel pads. Your nips WILL hurt from breastfeeding – no matter what anybody says. Doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong either, that’s a lot of hooey. The Lansinoh breast crème will be your friend!
Onesies – these are the little bodysuits that snap under the crotch – I used one every day – I liked Gap, Old Navy and Carter’s.
I also loved the snap up “sleep and plays” – these are the all one piece, little footed outfits that you see small babies wearing – some moms prefer the ones that zip rather than snap. Kohl’s has GREAT prices on this type of stuff – super cheap.
Baby Aquaphor – love this stuff. Great for chapped cheeks, rashes of unknown origin and more!
Triple Paste Diaper Cream – THE BEST in my opinion. Thicker than the others, really helps to heal and prevent diaper rash. Love it.
California Baby shampoo and body wash – I love the California Baby baby lotion and cream too – I also like Method baby products too. Both Cal Baby and Method are available at BRU.
www.californiababy.com
Seventh Generation are my favorite disposable diapers – no chlorine bleach, no fragrance, no weird dyes.
I like Huggies Natural Care, fragrance free wipes too – strong and don’t irritate Jack’s skin.
Strollers – go for a good one. NOT necessarily a “travel system” either – they are big, bulky, and not that great. Pretty much any stroller can be adapted to work with your infant carseat, so it’s really not an issue. We have one bigger stroller for neighborhood walks (a Jeep Limited Urban Terrain, it’s OK) and a lightweight one that stays in the car (city micro jogger – like it a LOT! They make a city mini jogger too and I know a lot of people like it. They are not jogging strollers – don’t know why they’re called “joggers!”)
I loved our snap and go stroller too – it’s like a frame – you can click graco infant carseat into it very easily.
Crib mattress – I went with a really expensive organic mattress. Probably wasn’t necessary, but that’s the one I got.
www.naturepedic.com
I also liked the organic cotton sheets I got at BRU.
You need a changing table and changing pad – most frequently used piece of baby furniture in our entire house! Get 2 or 3 soft changing pad covers too.
Other faves:
Gerber cloth diapers – great shoulder spit up cloths!
Gripe water – good for babies with colic – same goes for mylicon gas drops, get those too.
Bibs - a multipack of the cotton ones
Don’t get a lot of NB size clothes and diapers – just a few outfits – baby will outgrow them and move on to 0-3 pretty quick.
A lot of people like Soothie binkies – although if you breastfeed it’s recommended you don’t introduce a pacifier for a while at first.
Sandra Boynton books – of course you can’t start reading to baby too early (teacher mom knows that, ha ha!)
Other thoughts:
Tummy time – SO important. You remember Jack’s little helmet he had to wear – his plagiocephaly (flat spot on the right rear side of his head) started in the womb due to his being breech – but it can start outside the womb if babies are on their heads on the same spot too much. You want to make sure your baby gets plenty of tummy time – and also lays on your chest or Matt’s (tummy down so “facing” you) – don’t always hold her on the same side (whether cradling her or when she up on your shoulder) and make sure she doesn’t always turn her head the same way when she sleeps – rotate it for her every nap and at night so she’s laying on a different spot every time. Also lay her across your legs on her tummy – that counts as “tummy time” too. Babies hate tummy time usually. Do it anyway. Wearing your baby in Moby and Ergo a lot will also prevent flattening. And if you start to notice a flat spot – tell me! And I’ll have a lot more info for you.
Another tip that just popped into my head - when you start bathing her in a little baby tub (we got a simple one from BRU that also had a little "sling" - it was great) - you'll start that after her umbilical cord falls off, before it does, you'll just "sponge" bath her with a damp warm cloth or whatever (and - they don't get dirty so do not feel like you have to do this often) - ANYWAY - when you bathe her in the tub - lay a warm, wet guest sized towel over her entire body so very little naked skin is being hit by cold air. It's amazing how this calms them and helps them enjoy the bath (instead of shrieking and crying because their skin is being hit by the cool air in your house.) And then you just move the towel around as needed to pour water over her little body, etc. I think I have a pic of Jack in his little tubby.. going to find it.. oh, good found it! You can see the little blue tub (it fit crossways in our kitchen sink,) the sling that's he in (it stretches the length of the baby tub and supports their little body as they lay in the water) and the towel we have on him - he was happy as a little clam!
I hope she doesn't mind that I am pasting it here as I think she has a lot of good advice. (and not just because she references my blog about breastfeeding expectations. ;)
------------------------------
I compiled this list for my 27 weeks pregnant next door neighbor - thanks to all who helped me the other day. It strikes me that some folks here might also find it helpful.
Here ya go - it's long - and the crunchy mama musings within are my opinion only, of course feel free to ignore. Some of the info is Pittsburgh based too.
Here is a list of some of my favorite things (or others’ favorite things that they’ve told me about.)
Swaddle Blankets – you need ‘em. And not those small flannel receiving blankets (although those are great to use as burp rags or light blankets to cover baby.) Aden and Anais make GREAT swaddling blankets, Kiddopatomus does too (and theirs are available at BRU – theirs are called “Swaddle Me”.)
www.adenandanais.com
Here are some other really nice ones with good info about swaddling too:
http://www.swaddledesigns.com/cgi/commerce.cgi?search=action&keywords=all&template=PDGCommTemplates/HTN/CategorySwaddling.html
Halo Sleep Sacks – once you are done swaddling – these are AWESOME. We just stopped using them about 3 months ago.
www.halosleep.com
Best DVD to watch (TWICE!!) BEFORE you have the baby:
Happiest Baby on the Block – you want the DVD not the book – and you and Matt need to watch it together.
www.happiestbaby.com
Best places to get help with breastfeeding:
www.kellymom.com – awesome website that answers every question you could think of and I think there’s a chat board too where you can ask questions..
Breastfeeding Center of Pittsburgh – you can get an appointment there right after you have baby – it’s covered by insurance – and they will help you and baby get on/stay on the right track..
www.breastfeedingcenterofpittsburgh.com
Allegheny County Breastfeeding Helpline
412-247-1000 – answers weekends and holidays too! 8am – 10pm every day – provides counseling over the phone.
Local La Leche League – great to attend a meeting while still pregnant and reach out for help ASAP if you are having trouble once baby is born:
http://www.llli.org/
Also – THIS is an excellent, VERY realistic description of breastfeeding a newborn. It is 100 percent accurate – from how often you feed, to how long it takes some newborns to feed (anyone who tells you “15 minutes only” or any other BS like that is WRONG.)
http://grapemama.blogspot.com/2010/10/breastfeeding-realistic-expectations.html
A final thought – if breastfeeding does NOT work out – do not beat yourself up. Jack got mostly breastmilk but because he could not latch and I had to exclusively pump, I was not able to make enough milk. So he got some formula every day. I liked Earth's Best organic formula. Before we switched to Earth’s Best I gave him Similac ready to feed – the ready to feed is sometimes easier on newborn’s tummies than the powder mixes at first. When we switched to powder, I always used FILTERED tap water and we did warm up bottles with a bottle warmer – the First Years bottle warmer. Also – water goes in the bottle first, then you add the powder. This is so you have the correct ratio of water to powder. Use dairy based formula unless baby is allergic and you have to go to soy based or something else.
Other things we loved:
Swing (couldn’t have lived without it – it was the only place Jack would sleep sometimes)
Bouncy Seat – a place to put baby down sometimes – and they usually like them a lot.
Arm’s Reach co-sleeper – Jack slept in one in our room for 6 months – first in a mini that my sister gave me, then the regular size one. LOVE this product. He also slept in our bed quite a bit – it is safe to cosleep/bedshare IF you take the proper precautions. Here are some links that describes those precautions:
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/safe-cosleeping.html
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html#linkssafety
Sometimes, it’s the only way to get ANY sleep. We also always ran a fan in our room to keep air circulating (this is smart to do wherever baby sleeps) – you also don’t want baby’s sleeping area to be too warm – don’t overdress your baby at night, regardless of where baby sleeps. A cool sleeping area is best.
Here is a link for arm’s reach cosleeper too: www.armsreach.com
Moby Wrap – AWESOME PRODUCT! Allows you to “hold” baby while still having both of your arms and hands free. Here’s a link with description and instructions on how to use it.
http://www.mobywrap.com
Ergo – another one of my favorite babywearing products! You’ve seen me carry Jack in this one:
http://www.ergobabycarrier.com
Can’t stress enough how great these babywearing products are – it is really good for baby to be close to you (and anyone who tells you that you’re holding baby too much or baby will get “spoiled” is spouting really outdated notions, don’t listen, it actually is good for their physical and mental development to be held – a lot – these products make that possible while still being able to do other things too.)
More great stuff:
Lansinoh breast creme - you will need this if you are breastfeeding!!
Best pumps – Medela or Ameda – you want a good, expensive pump. Lots of info about pumping to be found on Kelly Mom website too.
You’ll need some disposable breast pads too (you will leak, it’s CRAZY at first) – I did NOT like the lansinoh brand breast pads – I liked Avent.
Breast soothies are also good – cooling gel pads. Your nips WILL hurt from breastfeeding – no matter what anybody says. Doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong either, that’s a lot of hooey. The Lansinoh breast crème will be your friend!
Onesies – these are the little bodysuits that snap under the crotch – I used one every day – I liked Gap, Old Navy and Carter’s.
I also loved the snap up “sleep and plays” – these are the all one piece, little footed outfits that you see small babies wearing – some moms prefer the ones that zip rather than snap. Kohl’s has GREAT prices on this type of stuff – super cheap.
Baby Aquaphor – love this stuff. Great for chapped cheeks, rashes of unknown origin and more!
Triple Paste Diaper Cream – THE BEST in my opinion. Thicker than the others, really helps to heal and prevent diaper rash. Love it.
California Baby shampoo and body wash – I love the California Baby baby lotion and cream too – I also like Method baby products too. Both Cal Baby and Method are available at BRU.
www.californiababy.com
Seventh Generation are my favorite disposable diapers – no chlorine bleach, no fragrance, no weird dyes.
I like Huggies Natural Care, fragrance free wipes too – strong and don’t irritate Jack’s skin.
Strollers – go for a good one. NOT necessarily a “travel system” either – they are big, bulky, and not that great. Pretty much any stroller can be adapted to work with your infant carseat, so it’s really not an issue. We have one bigger stroller for neighborhood walks (a Jeep Limited Urban Terrain, it’s OK) and a lightweight one that stays in the car (city micro jogger – like it a LOT! They make a city mini jogger too and I know a lot of people like it. They are not jogging strollers – don’t know why they’re called “joggers!”)
I loved our snap and go stroller too – it’s like a frame – you can click graco infant carseat into it very easily.
Crib mattress – I went with a really expensive organic mattress. Probably wasn’t necessary, but that’s the one I got.
www.naturepedic.com
I also liked the organic cotton sheets I got at BRU.
You need a changing table and changing pad – most frequently used piece of baby furniture in our entire house! Get 2 or 3 soft changing pad covers too.
Other faves:
Gerber cloth diapers – great shoulder spit up cloths!
Gripe water – good for babies with colic – same goes for mylicon gas drops, get those too.
Bibs - a multipack of the cotton ones
Don’t get a lot of NB size clothes and diapers – just a few outfits – baby will outgrow them and move on to 0-3 pretty quick.
A lot of people like Soothie binkies – although if you breastfeed it’s recommended you don’t introduce a pacifier for a while at first.
Sandra Boynton books – of course you can’t start reading to baby too early (teacher mom knows that, ha ha!)
Other thoughts:
Tummy time – SO important. You remember Jack’s little helmet he had to wear – his plagiocephaly (flat spot on the right rear side of his head) started in the womb due to his being breech – but it can start outside the womb if babies are on their heads on the same spot too much. You want to make sure your baby gets plenty of tummy time – and also lays on your chest or Matt’s (tummy down so “facing” you) – don’t always hold her on the same side (whether cradling her or when she up on your shoulder) and make sure she doesn’t always turn her head the same way when she sleeps – rotate it for her every nap and at night so she’s laying on a different spot every time. Also lay her across your legs on her tummy – that counts as “tummy time” too. Babies hate tummy time usually. Do it anyway. Wearing your baby in Moby and Ergo a lot will also prevent flattening. And if you start to notice a flat spot – tell me! And I’ll have a lot more info for you.
Another tip that just popped into my head - when you start bathing her in a little baby tub (we got a simple one from BRU that also had a little "sling" - it was great) - you'll start that after her umbilical cord falls off, before it does, you'll just "sponge" bath her with a damp warm cloth or whatever (and - they don't get dirty so do not feel like you have to do this often) - ANYWAY - when you bathe her in the tub - lay a warm, wet guest sized towel over her entire body so very little naked skin is being hit by cold air. It's amazing how this calms them and helps them enjoy the bath (instead of shrieking and crying because their skin is being hit by the cool air in your house.) And then you just move the towel around as needed to pour water over her little body, etc. I think I have a pic of Jack in his little tubby.. going to find it.. oh, good found it! You can see the little blue tub (it fit crossways in our kitchen sink,) the sling that's he in (it stretches the length of the baby tub and supports their little body as they lay in the water) and the towel we have on him - he was happy as a little clam!
Sleep expectations
Every child is different. If you had one where they slept through the night (STTN) at 12wks (10 to 12hrs or more), you are probably in the minority.
Babies have an extreme small stomach that grows over time. Because of this, they have to eat very frequently. In the first week of life, their stomach is the size of a cherry. Imagine if your stomach was that small, you would be hungry all the time too.
Most people consider STTN to be 5 hrs or more. consider yourself lucky if you child does that before 6wks as that is not the norm.
Babies are all over the place with regards to sleep. Whatever your child does is most likely normal, every child adjusts to sleep differently. My son just hates napping so he naps at 22m about 1 hr a day where most kids his age do 2-3 hrs. Man, I am jealous, but he just likes to be awake more. :)
My son slept 5 hrs in a row around 11months - yup, the first time. My daughter was about 3 or 4 weeks old.
Understand that most kids will sleep 10-12 hrs around 1 year or age - according to my pediatrician.
My 3 m daughter wakes up once a night to eat, but it may just be out of habit. I still do it though as my kids don't take a pacifier. I wasn't against it, but they just didn't take it and it was fine for me.
Here is a good article that talks about sleep:
http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/html/night_waking.shtml
Babies have an extreme small stomach that grows over time. Because of this, they have to eat very frequently. In the first week of life, their stomach is the size of a cherry. Imagine if your stomach was that small, you would be hungry all the time too.
Most people consider STTN to be 5 hrs or more. consider yourself lucky if you child does that before 6wks as that is not the norm.
Babies are all over the place with regards to sleep. Whatever your child does is most likely normal, every child adjusts to sleep differently. My son just hates napping so he naps at 22m about 1 hr a day where most kids his age do 2-3 hrs. Man, I am jealous, but he just likes to be awake more. :)
My son slept 5 hrs in a row around 11months - yup, the first time. My daughter was about 3 or 4 weeks old.
Understand that most kids will sleep 10-12 hrs around 1 year or age - according to my pediatrician.
My 3 m daughter wakes up once a night to eat, but it may just be out of habit. I still do it though as my kids don't take a pacifier. I wasn't against it, but they just didn't take it and it was fine for me.
Here is a good article that talks about sleep:
http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/html/night_waking.shtml
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Breastfeeding realistic expectations
I think many people quit breastfeeding because they have unrealistic expectations on what it takes to do breastfeeding. I do understand that some people just cannot breastfeed due to supply. Some just decide to formula feed and that is ok. This post is for people considering breastfeeding or just starting out.
I want to put some common items here on this blog, but I want to hopefully encourage people to breastfeed (if they can). You can do this!! Many of these items are mentioned in other posts on this blog and some just seem like common sense.
I have a lot more experience with this the 2nd time around and also because I had a challenging time breastfeeding my first child.
1) Breastfeeding is harder than you will imagine.
2) Most people need help...lactation consultant.
3) Take a class if you can. I wish I had before starting. If you cannot take a class, get a book. My company sent me a breastfeeding book. See if where you work has any breastfeeding resources for you...
4) Feed on demand...This means you will be feeding around the clock at first (more on this later). 8 to 12 feedings the first few weeks. You will be feeding more than formula moms and you will have to stay home more until you get the hang of things (and baby does too).
5) It may seem that all you are doing is breastfeeding. That is normal and expected until the baby is older and learns how to breastfeed efficiently.
6) Breastfeeding is a learning process for mom and baby. It is not as normal as most people think.
7) If you can stick to it, it will get easier. By 6wks things are usually easier...
8) Your milk works on supply and demand. The more the baby demands, the more you make. Try not to pump in the first few weeks as it is better to put the baby on the breast.
9) It will take more than an hr to feed at first. Forget the 10 to 15 min on each side as many websites say...that is not the norm. It will take 1 hr to feed a newborn that is 3wks or under and by the time you finish, it will be almost time to start again. It is normal and you will get frustrated to think you are always feeding. Even if you are feeding formula, it takes awhile to feed a newborn baby and their stomachs are really small. My LC gave me good advice...watch the baby not the clock. I had to use a LC last time, not at all this time.
10) Stay in your pajamas...If you have visitors, it is good to let them know that you are still recovering and you need to nurse often. Excuse yourself from visitors unless you can cover up and feed. New moms will find doing this in front of others even with a cover is super hard because the baby does fuss a lot and you have to stop often to burp and reposition the baby. I read the pajama thing in a breastfeeding book and it is good advice to let visitors not to stay too long and to remind them that you are recovering from childbirth.
11) You may have to change your diet. I see many websites say you do not have to do this and I disagree with them. Here is why: I think babies cannot really digest certain items (dairy, peanut butter, gassy foods like brocolli). It does not mean they are allergic to them and your child's dr will say you can eat anything, but I think this is the number one reason why people quit. Your child will be fussy if they cannot digest food. It is more a food intolerance not a food allergy, which drs are quick to dismiss. You can slowly reintroduce items. I would limit dairy items until you start back slowly and are sure it is not affecting the baby.
12) Baby gets more milk than your breastpump. They are more efficient. Remember that...If you pump, then you will think you are not making enough.
13) Your baby will have growth spurts around 2wks, 6wks, etc. They will demand milk more often.
14) Feed every 2 to 3 hrs. If the baby is asleep wake them up until your supply is established (6 to 12 wks). If you wait 5 hrs to feed in those first few weeks, your supply may be hurt. At night, you can let them sleep longer as long as the baby is gaining weight...talk to your doctor (usually if they are back to their birth weight by 2wks...)
15) Breastmilk digests faster than formula meaning you have to feed more often if breastfeeding.
16) Exclusive pumping sounds awesome if you think someone can help you out....but it is harder than just breastfeeding. You have to wash bottles and you cannot just sleep longer because even if the baby sleeps you may have to get up to pump.
17) You may have to eat oatmeal to increase supply. You may have to take fenugreek and blessed thistle...talk to a lactation consultant to find out dosage.
18) You will have to drink a ton of water to keep up your supply. This is the one thing I did not do last time that hurt my supply.
19) You may have cracked/bleeding nipples as that is quite common. I was lucky to not have that, but breastfeeding hurts in the beginning as your uterus shrinks down and getting used to the baby's latch.
20) You may not be able to diet/exercise for awhile. Some people cannot do this until their milk is established. You will require more calories while breastfeeding, so be sure to eat well. Also, watch what you eat as stated above. It took 9 months to put on the weight, cut yourself some slack - it won't come off in 2 weeks. I was able to exercise more this time than with my first child. Some women complain that the baby won't take their milk after running. If you take it easy, you may be ok though. If you aren't getting enough calories, your supply may be hurt too.
More advice on breastfeeding on my next post and what I did differently this time (last time I had low supply)...
This post is not intended to scare, but to provide realistic expectations on what breastfeeding is about. Will you go through all of this - no, but you will likely encounter some of these issues. When you do, know that you are not alone. If you are serious about breastfeeding, you will work through these.
Now, at 3m, my daughter is very efficient at eating so it takes just 10min or less total.
I want to put some common items here on this blog, but I want to hopefully encourage people to breastfeed (if they can). You can do this!! Many of these items are mentioned in other posts on this blog and some just seem like common sense.
I have a lot more experience with this the 2nd time around and also because I had a challenging time breastfeeding my first child.
1) Breastfeeding is harder than you will imagine.
2) Most people need help...lactation consultant.
3) Take a class if you can. I wish I had before starting. If you cannot take a class, get a book. My company sent me a breastfeeding book. See if where you work has any breastfeeding resources for you...
4) Feed on demand...This means you will be feeding around the clock at first (more on this later). 8 to 12 feedings the first few weeks. You will be feeding more than formula moms and you will have to stay home more until you get the hang of things (and baby does too).
5) It may seem that all you are doing is breastfeeding. That is normal and expected until the baby is older and learns how to breastfeed efficiently.
6) Breastfeeding is a learning process for mom and baby. It is not as normal as most people think.
7) If you can stick to it, it will get easier. By 6wks things are usually easier...
8) Your milk works on supply and demand. The more the baby demands, the more you make. Try not to pump in the first few weeks as it is better to put the baby on the breast.
9) It will take more than an hr to feed at first. Forget the 10 to 15 min on each side as many websites say...that is not the norm. It will take 1 hr to feed a newborn that is 3wks or under and by the time you finish, it will be almost time to start again. It is normal and you will get frustrated to think you are always feeding. Even if you are feeding formula, it takes awhile to feed a newborn baby and their stomachs are really small. My LC gave me good advice...watch the baby not the clock. I had to use a LC last time, not at all this time.
10) Stay in your pajamas...If you have visitors, it is good to let them know that you are still recovering and you need to nurse often. Excuse yourself from visitors unless you can cover up and feed. New moms will find doing this in front of others even with a cover is super hard because the baby does fuss a lot and you have to stop often to burp and reposition the baby. I read the pajama thing in a breastfeeding book and it is good advice to let visitors not to stay too long and to remind them that you are recovering from childbirth.
11) You may have to change your diet. I see many websites say you do not have to do this and I disagree with them. Here is why: I think babies cannot really digest certain items (dairy, peanut butter, gassy foods like brocolli). It does not mean they are allergic to them and your child's dr will say you can eat anything, but I think this is the number one reason why people quit. Your child will be fussy if they cannot digest food. It is more a food intolerance not a food allergy, which drs are quick to dismiss. You can slowly reintroduce items. I would limit dairy items until you start back slowly and are sure it is not affecting the baby.
12) Baby gets more milk than your breastpump. They are more efficient. Remember that...If you pump, then you will think you are not making enough.
13) Your baby will have growth spurts around 2wks, 6wks, etc. They will demand milk more often.
14) Feed every 2 to 3 hrs. If the baby is asleep wake them up until your supply is established (6 to 12 wks). If you wait 5 hrs to feed in those first few weeks, your supply may be hurt. At night, you can let them sleep longer as long as the baby is gaining weight...talk to your doctor (usually if they are back to their birth weight by 2wks...)
15) Breastmilk digests faster than formula meaning you have to feed more often if breastfeeding.
16) Exclusive pumping sounds awesome if you think someone can help you out....but it is harder than just breastfeeding. You have to wash bottles and you cannot just sleep longer because even if the baby sleeps you may have to get up to pump.
17) You may have to eat oatmeal to increase supply. You may have to take fenugreek and blessed thistle...talk to a lactation consultant to find out dosage.
18) You will have to drink a ton of water to keep up your supply. This is the one thing I did not do last time that hurt my supply.
19) You may have cracked/bleeding nipples as that is quite common. I was lucky to not have that, but breastfeeding hurts in the beginning as your uterus shrinks down and getting used to the baby's latch.
20) You may not be able to diet/exercise for awhile. Some people cannot do this until their milk is established. You will require more calories while breastfeeding, so be sure to eat well. Also, watch what you eat as stated above. It took 9 months to put on the weight, cut yourself some slack - it won't come off in 2 weeks. I was able to exercise more this time than with my first child. Some women complain that the baby won't take their milk after running. If you take it easy, you may be ok though. If you aren't getting enough calories, your supply may be hurt too.
More advice on breastfeeding on my next post and what I did differently this time (last time I had low supply)...
This post is not intended to scare, but to provide realistic expectations on what breastfeeding is about. Will you go through all of this - no, but you will likely encounter some of these issues. When you do, know that you are not alone. If you are serious about breastfeeding, you will work through these.
Now, at 3m, my daughter is very efficient at eating so it takes just 10min or less total.
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