Sunday, December 5, 2010

New mom check list

My friend created this for her friend. Is it nice for her to do for a friend?

I hope she doesn't mind that I am pasting it here as I think she has a lot of good advice. (and not just because she references my blog about breastfeeding expectations. ;)

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I compiled this list for my 27 weeks pregnant next door neighbor - thanks to all who helped me the other day. It strikes me that some folks here might also find it helpful.
Here ya go - it's long - and the crunchy mama musings within are my opinion only, of course feel free to ignore. Some of the info is Pittsburgh based too.
Here is a list of some of my favorite things (or others’ favorite things that they’ve told me about.)

Swaddle Blankets – you need ‘em. And not those small flannel receiving blankets (although those are great to use as burp rags or light blankets to cover baby.) Aden and Anais make GREAT swaddling blankets, Kiddopatomus does too (and theirs are available at BRU – theirs are called “Swaddle Me”.)
www.adenandanais.com
Here are some other really nice ones with good info about swaddling too:
http://www.swaddledesigns.com/cgi/commerce.cgi?search=action&keywords=all&template=PDGCommTemplates/HTN/CategorySwaddling.html

Halo Sleep Sacks – once you are done swaddling – these are AWESOME. We just stopped using them about 3 months ago.
www.halosleep.com

Best DVD to watch (TWICE!!) BEFORE you have the baby:
Happiest Baby on the Block – you want the DVD not the book – and you and Matt need to watch it together.
www.happiestbaby.com

Best places to get help with breastfeeding:
www.kellymom.com – awesome website that answers every question you could think of and I think there’s a chat board too where you can ask questions..
Breastfeeding Center of Pittsburgh – you can get an appointment there right after you have baby – it’s covered by insurance – and they will help you and baby get on/stay on the right track..
www.breastfeedingcenterofpittsburgh.com
Allegheny County Breastfeeding Helpline
412-247-1000 – answers weekends and holidays too! 8am – 10pm every day – provides counseling over the phone.
Local La Leche League – great to attend a meeting while still pregnant and reach out for help ASAP if you are having trouble once baby is born:
http://www.llli.org/
Also – THIS is an excellent, VERY realistic description of breastfeeding a newborn. It is 100 percent accurate – from how often you feed, to how long it takes some newborns to feed (anyone who tells you “15 minutes only” or any other BS like that is WRONG.)
http://grapemama.blogspot.com/2010/10/breastfeeding-realistic-expectations.html


A final thought – if breastfeeding does NOT work out – do not beat yourself up. Jack got mostly breastmilk but because he could not latch and I had to exclusively pump, I was not able to make enough milk. So he got some formula every day. I liked Earth's Best organic formula. Before we switched to Earth’s Best I gave him Similac ready to feed – the ready to feed is sometimes easier on newborn’s tummies than the powder mixes at first. When we switched to powder, I always used FILTERED tap water and we did warm up bottles with a bottle warmer – the First Years bottle warmer. Also – water goes in the bottle first, then you add the powder. This is so you have the correct ratio of water to powder. Use dairy based formula unless baby is allergic and you have to go to soy based or something else.

Other things we loved:

Swing (couldn’t have lived without it – it was the only place Jack would sleep sometimes)

Bouncy Seat – a place to put baby down sometimes – and they usually like them a lot.

Arm’s Reach co-sleeper – Jack slept in one in our room for 6 months – first in a mini that my sister gave me, then the regular size one. LOVE this product. He also slept in our bed quite a bit – it is safe to cosleep/bedshare IF you take the proper precautions. Here are some links that describes those precautions:
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/safe-cosleeping.html
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html#linkssafety
Sometimes, it’s the only way to get ANY sleep. We also always ran a fan in our room to keep air circulating (this is smart to do wherever baby sleeps) – you also don’t want baby’s sleeping area to be too warm – don’t overdress your baby at night, regardless of where baby sleeps. A cool sleeping area is best.
Here is a link for arm’s reach cosleeper too: www.armsreach.com
Moby Wrap – AWESOME PRODUCT! Allows you to “hold” baby while still having both of your arms and hands free. Here’s a link with description and instructions on how to use it.
http://www.mobywrap.com

Ergo – another one of my favorite babywearing products! You’ve seen me carry Jack in this one:
http://www.ergobabycarrier.com

Can’t stress enough how great these babywearing products are – it is really good for baby to be close to you (and anyone who tells you that you’re holding baby too much or baby will get “spoiled” is spouting really outdated notions, don’t listen, it actually is good for their physical and mental development to be held – a lot – these products make that possible while still being able to do other things too.)

More great stuff:
Lansinoh breast creme - you will need this if you are breastfeeding!!

Best pumps – Medela or Ameda – you want a good, expensive pump. Lots of info about pumping to be found on Kelly Mom website too.

You’ll need some disposable breast pads too (you will leak, it’s CRAZY at first) – I did NOT like the lansinoh brand breast pads – I liked Avent.

Breast soothies are also good – cooling gel pads. Your nips WILL hurt from breastfeeding – no matter what anybody says. Doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong either, that’s a lot of hooey. The Lansinoh breast crème will be your friend!

Onesies – these are the little bodysuits that snap under the crotch – I used one every day – I liked Gap, Old Navy and Carter’s.

I also loved the snap up “sleep and plays” – these are the all one piece, little footed outfits that you see small babies wearing – some moms prefer the ones that zip rather than snap. Kohl’s has GREAT prices on this type of stuff – super cheap.
Baby Aquaphor – love this stuff. Great for chapped cheeks, rashes of unknown origin and more!

Triple Paste Diaper Cream – THE BEST in my opinion. Thicker than the others, really helps to heal and prevent diaper rash. Love it.

California Baby shampoo and body wash – I love the California Baby baby lotion and cream too – I also like Method baby products too. Both Cal Baby and Method are available at BRU.
www.californiababy.com

Seventh Generation are my favorite disposable diapers – no chlorine bleach, no fragrance, no weird dyes.

I like Huggies Natural Care, fragrance free wipes too – strong and don’t irritate Jack’s skin.

Strollers – go for a good one. NOT necessarily a “travel system” either – they are big, bulky, and not that great. Pretty much any stroller can be adapted to work with your infant carseat, so it’s really not an issue. We have one bigger stroller for neighborhood walks (a Jeep Limited Urban Terrain, it’s OK) and a lightweight one that stays in the car (city micro jogger – like it a LOT! They make a city mini jogger too and I know a lot of people like it. They are not jogging strollers – don’t know why they’re called “joggers!”)

I loved our snap and go stroller too – it’s like a frame – you can click graco infant carseat into it very easily.

Crib mattress – I went with a really expensive organic mattress. Probably wasn’t necessary, but that’s the one I got.
www.naturepedic.com

I also liked the organic cotton sheets I got at BRU.

You need a changing table and changing pad – most frequently used piece of baby furniture in our entire house! Get 2 or 3 soft changing pad covers too.

Other faves:
Gerber cloth diapers – great shoulder spit up cloths!
Gripe water – good for babies with colic – same goes for mylicon gas drops, get those too.
Bibs - a multipack of the cotton ones
Don’t get a lot of NB size clothes and diapers – just a few outfits – baby will outgrow them and move on to 0-3 pretty quick.
A lot of people like Soothie binkies – although if you breastfeed it’s recommended you don’t introduce a pacifier for a while at first.
Sandra Boynton books – of course you can’t start reading to baby too early (teacher mom knows that, ha ha!)
Other thoughts:
Tummy time – SO important. You remember Jack’s little helmet he had to wear – his plagiocephaly (flat spot on the right rear side of his head) started in the womb due to his being breech – but it can start outside the womb if babies are on their heads on the same spot too much. You want to make sure your baby gets plenty of tummy time – and also lays on your chest or Matt’s (tummy down so “facing” you) – don’t always hold her on the same side (whether cradling her or when she up on your shoulder) and make sure she doesn’t always turn her head the same way when she sleeps – rotate it for her every nap and at night so she’s laying on a different spot every time. Also lay her across your legs on her tummy – that counts as “tummy time” too. Babies hate tummy time usually. Do it anyway. Wearing your baby in Moby and Ergo a lot will also prevent flattening. And if you start to notice a flat spot – tell me! And I’ll have a lot more info for you.
Another tip that just popped into my head - when you start bathing her in a little baby tub (we got a simple one from BRU that also had a little "sling" - it was great) - you'll start that after her umbilical cord falls off, before it does, you'll just "sponge" bath her with a damp warm cloth or whatever (and - they don't get dirty so do not feel like you have to do this often) - ANYWAY - when you bathe her in the tub - lay a warm, wet guest sized towel over her entire body so very little naked skin is being hit by cold air. It's amazing how this calms them and helps them enjoy the bath (instead of shrieking and crying because their skin is being hit by the cool air in your house.) And then you just move the towel around as needed to pour water over her little body, etc. I think I have a pic of Jack in his little tubby.. going to find it.. oh, good found it! You can see the little blue tub (it fit crossways in our kitchen sink,) the sling that's he in (it stretches the length of the baby tub and supports their little body as they lay in the water) and the towel we have on him - he was happy as a little clam!

Sleep expectations

Every child is different. If you had one where they slept through the night (STTN) at 12wks (10 to 12hrs or more), you are probably in the minority.

Babies have an extreme small stomach that grows over time. Because of this, they have to eat very frequently. In the first week of life, their stomach is the size of a cherry. Imagine if your stomach was that small, you would be hungry all the time too.

Most people consider STTN to be 5 hrs or more. consider yourself lucky if you child does that before 6wks as that is not the norm.

Babies are all over the place with regards to sleep. Whatever your child does is most likely normal, every child adjusts to sleep differently. My son just hates napping so he naps at 22m about 1 hr a day where most kids his age do 2-3 hrs. Man, I am jealous, but he just likes to be awake more. :)

My son slept 5 hrs in a row around 11months - yup, the first time. My daughter was about 3 or 4 weeks old.

Understand that most kids will sleep 10-12 hrs around 1 year or age - according to my pediatrician.

My 3 m daughter wakes up once a night to eat, but it may just be out of habit. I still do it though as my kids don't take a pacifier. I wasn't against it, but they just didn't take it and it was fine for me.

Here is a good article that talks about sleep:
http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/html/night_waking.shtml

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Breastfeeding realistic expectations

I think many people quit breastfeeding because they have unrealistic expectations on what it takes to do breastfeeding. I do understand that some people just cannot breastfeed due to supply. Some just decide to formula feed and that is ok. This post is for people considering breastfeeding or just starting out.

I want to put some common items here on this blog, but I want to hopefully encourage people to breastfeed (if they can). You can do this!! Many of these items are mentioned in other posts on this blog and some just seem like common sense.

I have a lot more experience with this the 2nd time around and also because I had a challenging time breastfeeding my first child.

1) Breastfeeding is harder than you will imagine.
2) Most people need help...lactation consultant.
3) Take a class if you can. I wish I had before starting. If you cannot take a class, get a book. My company sent me a breastfeeding book. See if where you work has any breastfeeding resources for you...
4) Feed on demand...This means you will be feeding around the clock at first (more on this later). 8 to 12 feedings the first few weeks. You will be feeding more than formula moms and you will have to stay home more until you get the hang of things (and baby does too).
5) It may seem that all you are doing is breastfeeding. That is normal and expected until the baby is older and learns how to breastfeed efficiently.
6) Breastfeeding is a learning process for mom and baby. It is not as normal as most people think.
7) If you can stick to it, it will get easier. By 6wks things are usually easier...
8) Your milk works on supply and demand. The more the baby demands, the more you make. Try not to pump in the first few weeks as it is better to put the baby on the breast.
9) It will take more than an hr to feed at first. Forget the 10 to 15 min on each side as many websites say...that is not the norm. It will take 1 hr to feed a newborn that is 3wks or under and by the time you finish, it will be almost time to start again. It is normal and you will get frustrated to think you are always feeding. Even if you are feeding formula, it takes awhile to feed a newborn baby and their stomachs are really small. My LC gave me good advice...watch the baby not the clock. I had to use a LC last time, not at all this time.
10) Stay in your pajamas...If you have visitors, it is good to let them know that you are still recovering and you need to nurse often. Excuse yourself from visitors unless you can cover up and feed. New moms will find doing this in front of others even with a cover is super hard because the baby does fuss a lot and you have to stop often to burp and reposition the baby. I read the pajama thing in a breastfeeding book and it is good advice to let visitors not to stay too long and to remind them that you are recovering from childbirth.
11) You may have to change your diet. I see many websites say you do not have to do this and I disagree with them. Here is why: I think babies cannot really digest certain items (dairy, peanut butter, gassy foods like brocolli). It does not mean they are allergic to them and your child's dr will say you can eat anything, but I think this is the number one reason why people quit. Your child will be fussy if they cannot digest food. It is more a food intolerance not a food allergy, which drs are quick to dismiss. You can slowly reintroduce items. I would limit dairy items until you start back slowly and are sure it is not affecting the baby.
12) Baby gets more milk than your breastpump. They are more efficient. Remember that...If you pump, then you will think you are not making enough.
13) Your baby will have growth spurts around 2wks, 6wks, etc. They will demand milk more often.
14) Feed every 2 to 3 hrs. If the baby is asleep wake them up until your supply is established (6 to 12 wks). If you wait 5 hrs to feed in those first few weeks, your supply may be hurt. At night, you can let them sleep longer as long as the baby is gaining weight...talk to your doctor (usually if they are back to their birth weight by 2wks...)
15) Breastmilk digests faster than formula meaning you have to feed more often if breastfeeding.
16) Exclusive pumping sounds awesome if you think someone can help you out....but it is harder than just breastfeeding. You have to wash bottles and you cannot just sleep longer because even if the baby sleeps you may have to get up to pump.
17) You may have to eat oatmeal to increase supply. You may have to take fenugreek and blessed thistle...talk to a lactation consultant to find out dosage.
18) You will have to drink a ton of water to keep up your supply. This is the one thing I did not do last time that hurt my supply.
19) You may have cracked/bleeding nipples as that is quite common. I was lucky to not have that, but breastfeeding hurts in the beginning as your uterus shrinks down and getting used to the baby's latch.
20) You may not be able to diet/exercise for awhile. Some people cannot do this until their milk is established. You will require more calories while breastfeeding, so be sure to eat well. Also, watch what you eat as stated above. It took 9 months to put on the weight, cut yourself some slack - it won't come off in 2 weeks. I was able to exercise more this time than with my first child. Some women complain that the baby won't take their milk after running. If you take it easy, you may be ok though. If you aren't getting enough calories, your supply may be hurt too.

More advice on breastfeeding on my next post and what I did differently this time (last time I had low supply)...

This post is not intended to scare, but to provide realistic expectations on what breastfeeding is about. Will you go through all of this - no, but you will likely encounter some of these issues. When you do, know that you are not alone. If you are serious about breastfeeding, you will work through these.

Now, at 3m, my daughter is very efficient at eating so it takes just 10min or less total.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Formula Feeding


I breastfeed my DS mainly. I supplement a little.


If you are breastfeeding, the amounts will be different. If you pump, you won't get as much as the baby gets (more on this later on a breastfeeding post).


This was taken from a formula handout, but always talk to your pediatrician if you have concerns. Your baby should be having plenty of wet and dirty diapers plus growing about an ounce a day (1/2 to 2/3 to 1 oz is normal). If you baby is gaining more than that, that is fine too.




Similac Formula recall

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20017390-10391704.html

Quite a few of the Similac brand formulas have been recalled because of some possible beetle parts. In this article, the lot numbers and phone number are included.

I think ready to feed bottles are ok.

GrapeMama has another baby!

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile...I was busy being pregnant and even then I kept it very quiet.
Baby Girl was born in late August 2010. We are so happy to have another child.

I'll be posting more info on newborn stuff because of this. How much formula to give, breastfeeding on demand, what I have learned while trying to breastfeed #2, etc.

I'll try to keep up this blog more while on maternity leave.

I'll reference her as baby S or as DD - dear daughter.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Baby book / photo books

I decided to do a scrapbook as my baby book. I'll post some pics when I am done with it. I am a few weeks away from being done with it (at least for the first year).

I found this baby memory book on Etsy:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41725334

I like the fact that the above seller has pages that list out info you should capture (teeth info, milestones, first words, etc).

Also, if you want to make a photobook, here is some info...
http://mypublisher.com/

I made a photobook for my wedding for my mom, MIL, grandmother and my husband's grandmother. If I remember correctly, I used My Publisher.

Right now, My Publisher has 50% off of $100 or more OR $25 off of $50 or more (with this code - SPRING2550 - expires 3/31/2010).

Walmart has similar sized books for $22 I think and My publisher is $29. Both are for only 20 pages. We may do this in our addition to the scrapbook that I am making. I was given a scrapbook at one of my baby showers. One of my hobbies is scrapbooking, although I am not too great at it.

More info on what I put in my baby book/scrapbook for baby in another post...

Felt Playhouse

I came across this and I think it is so cute. They can do boy or girl themed houses.

http://ticoandlupe.blogspot.com/2010/03/fundraising-fun-felt-playhouses.html

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Taking professional pictures...

We planned to do 4, 6, 9 and 12m. We missed his 12m pictures.

I wish we had done 3m instead of 4m.

There are many places to go and maybe try a few. We went to Sears due to cost. Even only going this amount gets expensive. Plus, they try to sell you packages and really YOU want pictures, but your family doesn't need a picture of your little one every 2 months. :) I know my father-in-law loved pictures, but really he was overloaded with pictures. (plus he got ones in between for the holidays...)

Sears was ok. The people there are mainly teens, but they are usually good at getting smiles.

My friend was always strong and got the $7.99 package at sears (or 9.99), but she could only pick one pose. I was NEVER that strong. These places are strong in their sales appeal. :) I usually went during the week as Sears has discounts during the week. I usually got a collage each time so I didn't have to stick to one pose. The collages are $29.99 I think and I got buy one get one free (due to the sears club that I joined). I really liked the collages and then stuck to one pose for the other package. This was more than enough pictures.

I haven't tried JcPenney but I know they are similar to Sears. I know my friend goes to Picture People, but they are more pricey than sears since they usually sell you the pics with the frames. I was told to try Portrait Innovations, but I haven't tried them.

Oh, at Sears, they usually try to upsell additional pictures when I pick them up (the pics are never ready the same day - at least at the sears that I go to). It is hard to resist the upsell, but usually I do.

Sippy Cup Issue Resolved!

I gave my son a sippy cup maybe around 4m to get him to practice with it. That didn't work well. He sometimes would drink from it, but he didn't seem to like it.

My sister gave me quite a few sippy cups to try and my son didn't like any of them.

I even bought some expensive klean kanteen ones and he didn't like these either.

I talked to some moms and I got this as a recommendation. (Nuby soft spout)
http://www.amazon.com/Gripper-Cup-Soft-Silicone-Spout/dp/B0001NE9F8/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1268772246&sr=8-4

Oh, I went to daycare one day and he was drinking from one of these. It surprised me since I figured he was drinking from someone else's cup. I asked the daycare workers and they said that it was an extra one and that my son LOVED that kind. Gee, thanks for telling me sooner!! I went and bought some that very day.

My son was over a year and wasn't getting the sippy cup and we wanted to transition from bottles. The day I introduced the Nuby, he took right to it. He is 99% on these now. We had to give him a bottle the other day as he didn't want to suck on his sippy cups (most likely due to an ear infection).

I am not sure if it was because he was breastfeed for 11.5months and the nuby is soft like a bottle/breast, but he liked these. I will say that this one may not be for all kids. They do have handle ones, but we used the ones without the handle (but little one was over a year).

My point is...try different brands and don't invest in one brand until you know that your child will like that sippy cup. My little one always tossed his and that is very normal, but make sure they eventually drink out of one or the other. My little one didn't like hard spout ones, but I think when he gets older he would be able to use those. Some kids GET the straw sippys easily, but my little one doesn't get the sucking action needed for straw use.

Oh, if the baby books says 'you need to have baby on sippy cups at 1year', etc, THROW THEM out (see my post regarding parenting styles and baby books...) EVERY child is different...some kids walk at 9m and some at 12m and some later...same thing with the sippy cup/bottle transition. There is nothing that says your baby MUST be off a bottle at 12m. It is good to aim for that, but don't stress. We were over a year before the transition happened. The soft spout on the nuby is similar to a bottle.

I have also heard that the take and toss cups work well and some kids. I haven't used those personally. I would have concerns that those would leak if my little one threw the cup on the ground (which he does several times daily).

Good luck with the sippy cup transition!

Sites for discounts on baby/kid gear

I like the following websites for discounted baby gear...

Baby Earth (monday -friday)
http://www.babyearth.com/baby-sale

Baby Steals (daily deals)
http://www.babysteals.com

Kid Steals (daily deals)
http://www.kidsteals.com

Woot (daily deals and sometimes more than one a day)
http://kids.woot.com and http://woot.com

I also look at http://mamabargains.com and ebates.com

I subscribe to Haute Look (sometimes there are baby stuff on here like diaper bags, but it is kinda too pricey for me).
http://hautelook.com

I also subscribe to Babies R Us on facebook as sometime they advertise their special. I only signed up because I got $5 off a future purchase.

Shopping sites for girls!

I like these skirt onesies for girls:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/illiakids

You can probably find a seamstress locally that could do these for a cheaper cost.

I like these a line dresses for girls:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/mekokids

Toddler food ideas

I haven't used this website, but it is a good resource for toddler food ideas.

http://weelicious.com/

Actually there are some recipes on here for babies that are 6 months or older...

Enjoy!

I wish I cooked more, but I do make easy stuff for my son. I cook chicken and give him pieces of chicken with a vegetable.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Parenting Styles

What is your parenting style? If you are pregnant, what will your parenting style be. I have to admit that I didn't know a lot about different parenting styles when I was expecting.



I learn towards attachment parenting, but I don't frequent forums regarding AP because 1) I hate the label. What are other parents - 'detached?' and 2) I think people hide behind parenting styles and compare themselves to others. (ex: Mary doesn't breastfeed or doesn't hold her baby in a sling, she is not an attachment parent', etc.)



Don't know what attachment parenting is? Here you go:

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting



Attachment parents lean toward baby wearing (I tried to do this, but my son hated the specific carrier that I had. Next time, I would try a different carrier), breastfeeding, feeding your child on demand, follow their cues and being attentive to them (not letting them cry much, but being very proactive on their crying), bedsharing or cosleeping (there is a difference - bed sharing means you share the same bed with the child and cosleeping means to be in the same room with the child --AAP says to do this for six months, but not everyone does (and that is OK)). Dr. Sears is the doctor that proposes AP. Dr. Sears also recommends delaying some vacinnes. I don't agree with most of that (but that is another post).



What are other parenting styles? Well, some people lean towards Dr. Ferber and cry it out methods. There is nothing wrong with either style or any style of parenting you do.

Information on Dr. Ferber:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

http://www.sleep-baby-sleep.com/ferber-method.htm



I like to say I parent by gut. I don't read parenting/sleeping books at all. I think they set poor expectations on what will work FOR YOU. For example, many people read books aimed at sleep training and the book may say that your child need X number of sleep per night. People get stuck on this and think they are a bad parent when really the book should say 'most' kids need this. Not all kids fit into little statistics...Do what feels right for you and YOUR family.



Also, don't look down upon others who choose different parenting styles than you do. People have been parents forever and they managed to raise their children appropriately. Your way may not be the best way. Get over it. Some people put their baby to sleep at 6pm and some at 11pm. They do what works for them. I know some of my friends look down upon me bedsharing, but it is what works for us. DS has never liked a crib. In talking to other moms, quite a few have to bedshare at some point (baby is sick, child is teething, etc). All children are different...in talking to real moms I have found out that each of their children were different. One of my friends had a son who only when to bed nursing (my son was the same way). She also had a daughter who had no sleep issues and didn't need that kind of close comfort. My friend has three kids - two girls and a boy. He had sleep issues with his last daughter. Each child has a different personality and something that worked for one may not work for another.


I am only mentioning two parenting styles. There are many more out there, I am sure. Do some research and it is ok to buy books, but a lot of parents that I know don't do the books. In fact, one of my friends is going to burn all her parenting/sleep training books. :)

Here are four completely different parenting styles:
http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm